Gaslight podcast reddit12/26/2023 Many of us do not have capacity to empathize but, empathy is critical to recognize what our childhood trauma responses were too intense for us to feel empathy in the first place The child is primarily utilized either as a means of Self enhancement (a Golden child a mother or father brags about to others for their own weird confidence boost) or the child is utilized as a scapegoat (a source narcissist can deflect their internal misery onto)Įven though an unaware narcissist may become triggered by addressing the inherent vulnerability and weakness in our behaviors. The child is not felt to be appropriate for experiencing normal childhood emotions common needs, wants and reactions. Narcissists have a lifetime of early developmental invalidation trauma of assessing their more basic needs. Typically, narcissists are developed through narcissistic parents. At the same time, being invalidated in our trauma for a lifetime makes it extremely difficult to even come to a point where our behaviors are ones we can reflect on. It's extremely hard to break these cycles whenever it is not appropriate for any of us to continue abusing others, simply for being victims of our environment. People like monster, people like me (and a handful of others) don't have motivation outside of a better future for others - & I was a codependent omg, if I had a place to ask about my lying ass covert ex I would have had the strength to leave sooner.Ī very problematic aspect of narcissism is the fact that abuse by other narcissists typically becomes a model for our behavior. It's really rough to embrace the entirety of who you think you are is a trauma response, but true strength lies in those who still try to become "better," without any evidence it's fully possible for us. What i cannot deny is that my fucking future looks bleak asf, because of people like this in our community. & ARE DEF NARCS THAT TRY TO USE AWARENESS TO BECOME "BETTER NARCS." It took me 2 years of being involved in other narc communities to understand self-awareness doesn't equate to recovery. THERE ARE DEF PEOPLE IN THE COMMUNITY WHO STRAIGHT UP REFUSE TO EMBRACE SELF-AWARENESS. Neither of us can lie to you, and say that self-awareness is to be expected out of all narcs (especially if you're ever asking, in hopes it applies to your abuser. U/theinvisiblemonster is really good people One of the best feelings in life is seeing comments like yours. They are consistent with one's fundamental personality and beliefs. Personally I've been in therapy over a decade and still have a long way to go.Įgo-syntonic refers to instincts or ideas that are acceptable to the self that are compatible with one's values and ways of thinking. That's why a lot of us give up in therapy. Ego syntonic disorders are very difficult and time consuming to treat. Why do you see and operate in the world the ways you do? We don't get it either, except maybe slowly through recovery which takes years if not decades. We ask ourselves the same questions in regards to non-PDs. Non-PD people always ask why? How? And the reality is that you can't understand it unless you yourself have a personality disorder. It creates persistent, inflexible, pervasive patterns of maladaptive traits just like you described (gaslighting, manipulation, etc) that help us cope with a very disordered perception of life and societal standards and people. Because Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental illness that starts in childhood or adolescence as a way to protect ourselves from danger, invalidation, ridiculous expectations, abusive environments, etc.
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